15 Years in Asia: What I Learned Living Abroad
How Living Abroad Changed Everything I Thought I Knew
I came to Asia planning to stay for five years. That was fifteen years ago.
What started as a simple plan to get my bachelor's degree turned into a life I never expected. I've lived in Japan, Thailand, the Philippines, and spent eleven years in Taiwan. Along the way, I've learned lessons that no guidebook could have taught me.
If you're thinking about moving abroad—or if you're already living the expat life—here are the fifteen most important things I've discovered about life in Asia.
1. Plans Always Change
When I first arrived, I met people who had been in Asia for 20, 30 years. Some had lived five years in Vietnam, then ten in Beijing, then another decade in Japan. I used to think, "How does that happen?"
Now I know.
Life abroad has a way of unfolding in directions you never planned. You can make a living anywhere, and one opportunity leads to another. What feels temporary becomes permanent. What seems impossible becomes your reality.
If you're moving to Asia, prepare for the possibility that your "semester abroad" might become your life abroad. Triple your timeline expectations—you might need them.
2. Your Perspective Will Completely Change
Before moving abroad, I thought my home country was the center of the world. Our way of doing things was the "right" way. Everyone else was doing it wrong.
That arrogance didn't last long.
Living in Asia taught me that every culture has its own systems, values, and ways of solving problems. There's no universal "right" or "wrong"—just different approaches to living.
The funny thing? When I finally went back home, I found myself thinking we didn't know how to do certain things and that Asia did them better. Now I understand that places are just different. They have different resources, different backgrounds, different cultures. No one is right or wrong—we're just different in some ways and remarkably similar in others.
3. Culture Shock Is Real (And Humbling)
No matter how open-minded you think you are, moving to a new culture will humble you. It's not just the obvious differences—food, work ethic, social customs. It's the small nuances that no one explains.
You'll spend weeks unable to order exactly what you want at restaurants. You'll realize that "let's meet again soon" was just politeness, not an actual invitation. You'll give countless geography lessons about your home country to people who've never heard of it.
These small daily challenges make you feel lost at first. But the more time you spend in a place, the more you understand why things are the way they are. Eventually, those nuances start to click.
4. Communication Is More Than Language
Even speaking fluent Chinese, I sometimes struggle with communication—not on a language level, but on a conceptual one.
In Chinese, time flows from top to bottom. In my native language, it flows the opposite way. Something so fundamental affects how we see the world. Imagine how these different perspectives impact communication on more complex topics.
I had a Taiwanese friend who went to the US for his bachelor's degree. After graduating, he wanted to stay, so I told him to find a job and stay. He said he couldn't—his mother said he had to return to Taiwan, and he had to follow her orders. This guy was in his mid-twenties, already an adult.
In the West, we wouldn't let our parents' opinion stop us from doing what we want as grown adults. But how do you communicate that without being culturally insensitive? These are the communication challenges that go far beyond vocabulary.
5. Big Cities Can Be Soulless
I grew up in a small town of 200,000 people. I've lived in Tokyo and Bangkok. We need to stop romanticizing life in big cities.
Moving to a big city won't automatically give you friends, opportunities, or excitement. If you weren't doing much in your hometown, you probably won't be doing much in a big city either. Yes, changing environments can create new opportunities, but only a fraction of people are willing to take them, and even fewer can excel with them.
Big cities in Asia tend to feel especially isolating. People are polite, but it often feels surface-level. Back home, politeness comes with warmth and real community. In Asian megacities, it's more of a social expectation.
You don't have to live in a major city to have a fulfilled life in Asia. Sometimes, smaller is better.
6. The Work Culture Is Relentless
In Japan, Korea, China, and Taiwan, work isn't just a job—it's a lifestyle. People work overtime, sacrifice free time, and ignore their health to make money. Profit comes first; everything else is secondary.
I remember seeing overworked people in Tokyo's metro, dozing off from exhaustion. It was demoralizing. When it was my turn to work an office job, I realized the horror stories were true.
If you come to Asia to work for a local company—whether as an engineer, in IT, marketing, or sales—expect long hours, little vacation time, and very little time for yourself. The only way to have good work-life balance is to work for a foreign company with international standards. Even locals want to work for these companies.
Most expats teach English, which should be more relaxed on paper. But I've heard horror stories from teachers too.
7. Most Friendships Are Temporary
For some reason, expats tend to hang out with other expats. About 90% of most expats' friends are also expats.
In my first year, I made so many friends—mostly exchange students. I was devastated when it was time to say goodbye. I was dealing with adapting to a new place while missing friends back home, and after six months of adventures together, I was saying goodbye to new friends again.
That's when I learned: people come and go. Most foreigners see Asia as temporary, not as a place to live long-term. You'll get used to farewell parties and keeping in touch with friends who left, maybe meeting them every five to ten years.
The upside? You'll develop a huge international network. You'll probably have someone to hang out with whenever you travel to Europe, the US, or Latin America.
To combat the temporary friendship issue, make friends with locals. I'm still in touch with college classmates and former coworkers from years ago.
8. It's OK to Miss Out
When I first arrived, I wanted to explore everything. I had this feeling that I needed to consume and understand the culture and every new place. Friends would visit incredible places and come back with amazing stories, making me desperately want to go see everything myself.
With time, I realized it's OK to miss out on some adventures, places, and activities. It's impossible to take everything in. You're not a tourist anymore, so slow down. Enjoy things at your own pace and only do things that genuinely interest you.
I've rejected countless invitations—bike trips in Vietnam, two-week Japan tours, traveling from northern to southern Thailand. I just say, "No, thank you." I've figured out what I enjoy and what I don't, so I never feel like I'm missing out.
It's easy to get lost and forget why you came in the first place.
9. Constantly Living Outside Your Comfort Zone Is Beneficial
Moving thousands of miles away, learning a new language, understanding new customs, making new friends, and starting from zero—that's the definition of stepping outside your comfort zone.
But it doesn't stop there. You have to constantly live outside your comfort zone, day in and day out. Even the smallest things become challenges. Going weeks without being able to order exactly what you want at restaurants. Having friends think you talk in a "cute" manner after months of language learning. Introducing yourself and your country to everyone you meet, sometimes giving geography lessons.
A friend used to say that every year living abroad equals four years in your home country. I agree, especially for the first couple of years. Living abroad makes you grow faster as a person because you're facing and overcoming challenges every day.
10. Self-Reliance Is Everything
You'll quickly realize that no one is coming to save you. You have to do everything on your own.
Back home, I had a support system—family, friends, people to help when needed. But abroad? Everything is on you. No room for mistakes. You have to handle everything yourself: visas, finances, daily survival, finding apartments, finding jobs, navigating new situations.
Back home, my community was tight. I went to school with my neighbors. We took care of each other. I spent weekends with my cousins, learning to play soccer. I went fishing with my uncle, who shared life wisdom for hours. My parents guided me through life daily. My brother was my biggest influence—like I was playing life on "New Game Plus" with his guidance.
All that support diminishes when you move abroad. It's not gone, but it's definitely reduced. In Asia, you'll feel alone. Even though you'll have friends, you'll ultimately have to figure out certain things by yourself.
11. Being Away from Family Was Easier Than I Thought
This is easier to say after being physically away from my family for 15 years, but hear me out.
My community back home was close, so moving abroad felt like a huge sacrifice. But here's the thing: that distance between you and your family will happen regardless. Even if you don't move abroad, how many people live in the same country as their parents but only see them twice a year? What about people who are on bad terms with their parents and don't even talk?
I've seen comments online saying people would like to move abroad but they're "family people" and can't see themselves far away from family. Well, I was like that too, and here I am.
I'm not saying you should abandon your family. I'm saying it's not selfish to go on a journey to find yourself. Sometimes that fear of leaving people behind is what's actually holding you back from living the life you really want.
You can always stay in contact with your family. They'll always be there for you. Living abroad gives your family an excuse to visit and discover a new way of living.
12. Home Is Wherever You Make It
One of the biggest lessons I learned is that home isn't a place—it's a feeling.
I always get asked: "When are you going home? What's your exit plan? Where would you like to settle?" But where is home? Is it where I was born and spent 18 years (though I only remember about 12)? Or is it where I spent all my adult life, where I tasted alcohol and tobacco for the first time, had so many first experiences, got my bachelor's degree, started my first job, and launched my first business?
Where is home exactly? Why should I only have one home? Calling one place home over another doesn't make sense to me since both places made me who I am today.
After so many years overseas, I've realized that home moves with you. It's about the mindset you carry, not the place you're in.
You don't ever have to worry about "going back home" or "being home" because as long as you're happy where you are, you are home.
13. You Can Reinvent Yourself
Believe it or not, there's no one fact-checking you. Once you get to a new place, you get a blank slate—an opportunity to try new things and even take on a new persona.
Were you the shy kid back home? Not anymore. You can be confident and nonchalant now. Used to be the sports guy? Now you can be the computer guy, or whatever you want.
I'm not saying you should lie about who you are or tell people you were a prince back home. I'm saying you get a second chance once you move to another place, since no one knows you.
Back home, people already have an idea of who they think you are and put you in a box. After moving abroad, you can pick up new hobbies or find people who think like you and have the same ambitions and goals. You're not limited to continuing the same path you had back home.
It's like a new save file, so take advantage of that. I've done so many things that weren't part of who I was in my home country. For example, I entered a singing competition in my first year here, and I'd never set foot on a stage before that.
Go ahead and take this opportunity to reinvent yourself.
14. Prepare Yourself
Prepare yourself for everything. Understand that it won't be easy or exciting all the time. You'll be in uncomfortable situations. You'll have hardships. Bad things will happen.
You can never be 100% prepared for every situation, but a little preparation beats no preparation at all.
If you're going somewhere for a job, Google the company. Contact people who worked there before and ask about their experience. If you're going on vacation, watch YouTube videos about the place. Try to learn a bit of the language.
You'll be amazed at how little people prepare to go abroad. They don't bother learning customs, understanding the language, or finding the best way to move around a city. They do zero preparation.
I know some people like the sense of adventure of going into the unknown, but the reality is this: if you prepare for an experience beforehand—read books, watch vlogs—you'll have a better idea of what to expect and whether it's a good fit for you.
15. It's Not for Everyone
Moving abroad isn't for everyone, and not everyone living abroad is having a better experience than people who stay in their home country. As a matter of fact, most immigrants work nonstop, get little vacation, and send all the money they make to their families.
People have this misconception that if you live abroad, you're making tons of money or you're a millionaire. This is not the case—not even close. People living abroad face the same challenges, if not more, than those who don't.
Life abroad isn't better—it's just different. And as I said, it's not for everyone.
I've met people who came for a year and decided after five days they couldn't stay any longer. Some come for two months and call it quits. I know people who are here right now and hate it—they want to go back home but are stuck in a situation where this is their best option.
Some people love it, others hate it. The only way to figure out if you love it or hate it is by trying.
Don't feel discouraged if you go to one country and it's not what you expected. Don't let this stop you from giving another country a shot, or maybe another continent. I respect people who are willing to try new things and are OK with admitting something isn't for them and moving on.
Final Thoughts
Fifteen years later, I'm still here. Not because I'm stuck, but because I've built a life that works for me. Asia taught me that home isn't a place on a map—it's wherever you decide to plant your roots and grow.
If you're thinking about making the move, know that it will challenge everything you think you know about yourself and the world. It will be harder than you expect and more rewarding than you can imagine.
The question isn't whether you should do it. The question is: are you ready to find out who you really are when everything familiar is stripped away?
Which of these lessons resonated with you? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.